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Tales of a Taxi Driver

Life can get pretty interesting on the road for Taxi Drivers. Here's 3 short encounters we've been sent in.

Cute Taxi Driver

This photo isn't one of the featured drivers but may be a close resemblance

 

Barry from Liverpool

My strangest story as a taxi-driver started when a man stumbled into my taxi at 3am and promptly collapsed on my back seat.

“Where to?” I asked.

He mumbled his address and then passed out. So twenty minutes later, we pulled up at his house, and I said, “We’re here.”

He didn’t reply. He was completely out of it. I sighed, got out the taxi, walked up to the house and knocked on the front door. Eventually a woman in a dressing gown opened the door. I told her about her husband in my taxi.

She sighed, and asked if I could carry him into the house.

Carrying around unconscious men is not really in my job description, but I did it anyway. I carried him up the garden path, through the door, and then I threw him onto a sofa. By this point he was starting to wake up. He complained about being too hot, so he pushed off his shoes, and then wriggled out of his trousers.

When the woman came in the room, she screamed and said, “That’s not my husband!”

She picked up the man’s trousers and started whipping him with them, screaming at him to leave the house. The man just blinked at her and said, “This isn’t my house.” Then he ran out into the night, still with no shoes or trousers.

I’m getting too old for this job.

 

Dave from Manchester

My most memorable incident as a taxi-driver happened when a drunk woman got into my cab, and then immediately threw up out the window. Luckily the window was open, but unfortunately her regurgitated beer and diced carrots landed directly on the windscreen of a passing Mercedes. I gulped as the Mercedes pulled up into the space in front of me. The driver got out, inspected his car, and then started walking towards me. I opened my window and stammered. “I’m really sorry about that,”

“It’s okay, it’s no problem,” he replied. “I’m a taxi driver too. I see this kind of thing all the time.”

He was actually a friendly guy and we talked for a while. Finally he said he had to get home to clean his car. We said goodbye and he drove off. We’re still friends to this day.

 

Tony from London

My strangest customer was a man... with a helper monkey. He explained he needed to go to McDonald’s to get a burger. The burger wasn’t for him, he said, but for the monkey.

“Monkeys loves burgers,” he explained.

We drove up to the window to pay, and the man opened his window to hand over the money. Unfortunately, the monkey saw this as an opportunity for freedom and it jumped out of the car. It landed right onto the drive-through counter, making the cashier scream. The monkey grabbed the burger and then ran off towards the car park. We both got out the taxi and thankfully caught the monkey just as it was finishing the burger. Apparently monkeys really do love burgers.

 

The stories are most likely fictional. Do you have any stories we can use? Email us at burton@mercuryrentacar.co.uk

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